{"id":35,"date":"2017-04-15T06:00:40","date_gmt":"2017-04-15T13:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/learnhandwritinganalysis.com\/newsletters\/2008\/04\/15\/toxic-vocabulary\/"},"modified":"2020-02-04T12:43:20","modified_gmt":"2020-02-04T19:43:20","slug":"toxic-vocabulary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bartbaggett.com\/blog\/toxic-vocabulary\/","title":{"rendered":"Toxic Vocabulary"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\">                                     <!-- .style1 {font-weight: bold} .style2 { \tcolor: #990000; \tfont-weight: bold; } .style4 {color: #0000FF; font-weight: bold; } .style5 {color: #FF6600} .style6 {font-weight: bold; color: #FF6600; } --> <\/style>\n<p><code><font color=\"#990000\" face=\"Arial\"><span class=\"style13\"><font face=\"Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif\"><strong><font size=\"+2\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/myhandwriting.com\/images\/2005bartspeaker_2005.jpg\" alt=\"bart baggett\" align=\"left\" border=\"0\" \/>FEATURE STORY :<\/font><\/strong><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/code><\/p>\n<p><font color=\"#990000\" face=\"Arial\">Toxic Vocabulary<\/font><\/p>\n<p><code><font color=\"#990000\" face=\"Arial\" size=\"-1\">By Bart Baggett<br \/>\nPresident, Handwriting University<\/font><\/code><\/p>\n<p><center><\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">I remember my dad teaching me the power of<br \/>\nlanguage at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">One particularly interesting event occurred when<br \/>\nI was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees,<br \/>\npoles, and literally hanging around upside down<br \/>\nfrom the rafters of our lake house. So, it came as<br \/>\nno surprise to my dad to find me at the top of a<br \/>\n30-foot tree, swinging back and forth. My little<br \/>\neight-year-old brain didn&#8217;t realize the tree could<br \/>\nbreak or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun<br \/>\nto be up so high.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same<br \/>\ntree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about<br \/>\nten feet below me. Tammy&#8217;s mother also noticed<br \/>\nus at the exact same time my dad did. About that<br \/>\ntime a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could<br \/>\nhear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to<br \/>\nsway. I remember my dad&#8217;s voice over the wind<br \/>\nyell, &#8220;Bart, Hold on tightly.&#8221; So I did. The next thing<br \/>\nI know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of<br \/>\nher lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen<br \/>\nout of the tree.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later<br \/>\ntold me why she fell and I did not. Apparently,<br \/>\nTammy&#8217;s mother was not as an astute student of<br \/>\nlanguage as my father. When Tammy&#8217;s mother felt<br \/>\nthe gust of wind, she yelled out, &#8220;Tammy, don&#8217;t fall!&#8221;<br \/>\nAnd Tammy did&#8230; fall.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">My dad then explained to me that the mind has a<br \/>\nvery difficult time processing a negative image. In<br \/>\nfact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot<br \/>\nsee a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process<br \/>\nthe command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain<br \/>\nhad to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain<br \/>\nnot to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my<br \/>\neight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image<br \/>\nof me hanging on tightly.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">This is why people who try to stop smoking struggle<br \/>\nwith the ct of stopping smoking. They are running<br \/>\npictures all day of themselves smoking. Smokers are<br \/>\nrarely taught to see themselves breathing fresh air<br \/>\nand feeling great. The language itself becomes one<br \/>\nbarrier to success.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">This concept is especially useful when you are<br \/>\nattempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can&#8217;t<br \/>\nvisualize not doing something. The only way to<br \/>\nproperly visualize not doing something is to actually<br \/>\nfind a word for what you want to do and visualize<br \/>\nthat. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I<br \/>\nplayed for my junior high school football team. I<br \/>\ntried so hard to be good, but I just couldn&#8217;t get it<br \/>\ntogether at that age. I remember hearing the words<br \/>\nrun through my head as I was running out for a<br \/>\npass, &#8220;Don&#8217;t drop it!&#8221; Naturally, I dropped the ball.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us<br \/>\nproper &#8220;self-talk.&#8221; They just thought some kids could<br \/>\ncatch and others couldn&#8217;t. I&#8217;ll never make it pro, but I&#8217;m<br \/>\nnow a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player,<br \/>\nbecause all my internal dialogue is positive and<br \/>\nencourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me<br \/>\nplaying football instead of just climbing trees. I might<br \/>\nhave had a longer football career.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids<br \/>\nand your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary.<br \/>\nAsk them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them.<br \/>\nNow, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them,<br \/>\n&#8220;Okay, try to drop the pencil.&#8221; Observe what they do.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">Most people release their hands and watch the pencil<br \/>\nhit the floor. You respond, &#8220;You weren&#8217;t paying<br \/>\nattention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please<br \/>\ndo it again.&#8221; Most people then pick up the pencil and<br \/>\npretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries<br \/>\nbut fails to drop the pencil.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">The point is made.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">If you tell your brain you will &#8220;give it a try,&#8221; you are<br \/>\nactually telling your brain to fail. I have a &#8220;no try&#8221; rule in<br \/>\nmy house and with everyone I interact with. Either<br \/>\npeople will do it or they won&#8217;t. Either they will be at<br \/>\nthe party or they won&#8217;t. I&#8217;m brutal when people<br \/>\nattempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they<br \/>\nthink I don&#8217;t know they are really telegraphing to the<br \/>\nworld they have no intention of doing it but they want<br \/>\nme to give them brownie points for pretended effort?<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">You will never hear the words &#8220;I&#8217;ll try&#8221; come out of<br \/>\nmy mouth unless I&#8217;m teaching this concept in a seminar.<br \/>\nIf you &#8220;try&#8221; and do something, your unconscious mind<br \/>\nhas permission not to succeed. If I truly can&#8217;t make a<br \/>\ndecision I will tell the truth. &#8220;Sorry John. I&#8217;m not sure<br \/>\nif I will be at your party or not. I&#8217;ve got an outstanding<br \/>\ncommitment. If that falls through, I will be here.<br \/>\nOtherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">People respect honesty. So remove the word &#8220;try&#8221;<br \/>\nfrom your vocabulary. My dad also told me that<br \/>\npsychologists claim it takes seventeen positive<br \/>\nstatements to offset one negative statement. I have<br \/>\nno idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might<br \/>\ntake up to seventeen compliments to offset the<br \/>\nemotional damage of one harsh criticism.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">These are concepts that are especially useful when<br \/>\nraising children. Ask yourself how many compliments<br \/>\nyou give yourself daily versus how many criticisms.<br \/>\nHeck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long.<br \/>\nWe all have internal voices that give us direction.<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you<br \/>\nshortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, &#8220;I suck.<br \/>\nI&#8217;m fat. Nobody will like me. I&#8217;ll try this diet. I&#8217;m not<br \/>\ngood enough. I&#8217;m so stupid. I&#8217;m broke, etc. etc.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with<br \/>\none wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming<br \/>\nyou are doing on a daily basis with your own internal<br \/>\ndialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.<br \/>\nNotice when you or other people use them.<\/p>\n<table align=\"left\" border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" width=\"200\">\n<tr>\n<td class=\"style11\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>But<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<td class=\"style11\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Try<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"style11\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>If<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<td class=\"style11\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Might<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"style11\" nowrap=\"true\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Would Have<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<td class=\"style11\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Should Have<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"style11\" nowrap=\"true\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Could Have<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<td class=\"style11\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Can&#8217;t<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"style11\" nowrap=\"true\">\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Don&#8217;t<\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<td class=\"style11\">&nbsp;<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<p class=\"style11\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\"><em><strong>But<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; negates any words that are stated before it.<br \/>\n<em><strong>If<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; presupposes that you may not.<br \/>\n<em><strong>Would have<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; past tense that draws attention to<br \/>\nthings that didn&#8217;t actually happen.<br \/>\n<em><strong>Should have<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; past tense that draws attention to<br \/>\nthings that didn&#8217;t actually happen (and implies guilt.)<br \/>\n<em><strong>Could have<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; past tense that draws attention to<br \/>\nthings that didn&#8217;t actually happen but the person<br \/>\ntries to take credit as if it did happen.<br \/>\n<em><strong>Try<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; presupposes failure.<br \/>\n<em><strong>Might<\/strong><\/em> &#8211; It does nothing definite. It leaves options<br \/>\nfor your listener.<br \/>\n<em><strong>Can&#8217;t \/ Don&#8217;t <\/strong><\/em>&#8211; These words force the listener<br \/>\nto focus on exactly the opposite of what you<br \/>\nwant. This is a classic mistake that parents and<br \/>\ncoaches make without knowing the damage of<br \/>\nthis linguistic error.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\"><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Examples: <\/strong><\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\"><em>Toxic phrase:<\/em> &#8220;Don&#8217;t drop the ball!&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>Likely result:<\/em> Drops the ball <em><br \/>\nBetter language:<\/em> &#8220;Catch the ball!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\" align=\"left\"><em>Toxic phrase: <\/em>&#8220;You shouldn&#8217;t watch so<br \/>\nmuch television.&#8221;<br \/>\n<em>Likely result:<\/em> Watches more television.<br \/>\n<em>Better language:<\/em> &#8220;I read too much television<br \/>\nmakes people stupid. You might find yourself turning<br \/>\nthat TV off and picking up one of those books more<br \/>\noften!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p align=\"left\"><span class=\"style11\"><font face=\"Arial\"><\/font><font color=\"#ff6600\"><strong>Exercise:<\/strong><\/font> <em><font face=\"Arial\">Take a moment to write down<br \/>\nall the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic<br \/>\nself-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write<br \/>\nthese phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself<br \/>\nas they occur and change them.<\/font><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<table border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\" width=\"300\">\n<tr>\n<td><em><strong>Toxic Phrase<\/strong><\/em><\/td>\n<td><em><strong>Re-written Phrase<\/strong><\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<table border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"6\" cellspacing=\"0\">\n<tr>\n<td nowrap=\"true\" width=\"464\">\n<p class=\"style11\">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211; End of chapter excerpt &#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\">This chapter is an excerpt from &#8220;The Success Secrets of<br \/>\nthe Rich &amp; Happy,&#8221; 435 page self-improvement book<br \/>\nrelating to wealth and emotional prosperity.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"style11\">Only $19.95 at: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.myhandwriting.com\/ssrh.html\">http:\/\/www.myhandwriting.com\/ssrh.html<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<hr \/>\n<p align=\"center\"><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/myhandwriting.com\/order\/catalog.html\"><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<table border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"2\" cellspacing=\"2\">\n<tr>\n<td><center><a href=\"http:\/\/handwritinguniversity.com\/products\/101\/\" target=\"new\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.automateyourwebsite.com\/app\/netcart.asp?MerchantID=15639&amp;ProductID=2159481\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><\/center><center><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.myhandwriting.com\/seminars\/2008lasvegas\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.myhandwriting.com\/images\/2008seminaradgeneral.jpg\" \/><\/a><\/center><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<p><font face=\"Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif\" size=\"2\"><br \/>\n<\/font><\/p>\n<p><font face=\"Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif\" size=\"2\"><br \/>\n<\/font><\/p>\n<p><\/center><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><font color=\"#990000\" face=\"Arial\"><span class=\"style13\"><font face=\"Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif\"><strong><font size=\"+2\">Student Comments<\/font><\/strong><\/font><\/span><\/font><object classid=\"clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=6,0,0,0\" height=\"256\" width=\"320\"><\/object><\/p><param name=\"movie\" value=\"CarloPineda.swf\"\/><param name=\"quality\" value=\"best\"\/><param name=\"play\" value=\"true\"\/><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.handwritingnewsletters.com\/videotestimonials\/CarloPineda.swf\" pluginspage=\"http:\/\/www.macromedia.com\/go\/getflashplayer\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" quality=\"best\" play=\"true\" height=\"256\" width=\"320\"\/>Carlos Pineda<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>FEATURE STORY : Toxic Vocabulary By Bart Baggett President, Handwriting University I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success. One particularly interesting event [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":851,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[143,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-weekly-newsletters"],"blocksy_meta":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Toxic Vocabulary - Bart Baggett- Ask a Forensic Handwriting Expert<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bartbaggett.com\/blog\/toxic-vocabulary\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Toxic Vocabulary - Bart Baggett- Ask a Forensic Handwriting Expert\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"FEATURE STORY : Toxic Vocabulary By Bart Baggett President, Handwriting University I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. 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